Observations from the call

H arrived, very professionally, looking for advice on how to further her career. We talked around her experience and I suggested some actions she could take to work towards an exec role.

Throughout the call I was asking her about herself and her experience, and she kept talking about her mum. It became evident her mum was a highly successful woman who made H feel less than adequate. So she was pursuing the career to prove to her mum she was worthy.

The bomb dropped.

When I asked her what she really wanted, it wasn't even related to corporate. I asked her how she was going to pursue her dream, even if it wasn't feasible right now. Again, we talked through options.

We also talked through how her mum's behaviour showed her mum's own need to demonstrate how good she was. It wasn't H's job to fix her mum, but to be conscious of her own behaviour and feelings in future.

What changed

I enjoy these calls. H was in tears, but in a good way. She was grateful for the elephant in the room being shown to her. Sometimes we're too close.

She is choosing to remain in corporate for now, but is actively looking at how she can spend time outside work on passion projects that give her something more meaningful.